Why the most attractive people are always interesting

Anyone can be seen, but not everyone is remembered

Let’s talk about attraction—real attraction. The kind that makes someone unforgettable, magnetic, and irresistibly appealing. The truth is being conventionally good-looking can only take you so far. You can be drop-dead gorgeous, but if your personality is dull, unkind, or self-absorbed, that external beauty starts to fade real fast. On the flip side, I’ve met people who aren’t what society would consider "traditionally attractive," but their energy, confidence, and way of being make them attractive.

Attraction is layered, complex, and goes way beyond physical appearance.

And this isn’t just about romance. Sure, if you’re trying to make someone absolutely obsessed with you (in a healthy way), these things will help. But even if you’re happily in a relationship, married, or not even thinking about dating, these traits make you more interesting, expand your social circle, and help you level up in every area of life. Because being that person—the one people are drawn to, the one who leaves an impression—will always work in your favour.

A lot of these insights are my personal observations, but many of them also have psychological research to back them up (I find the science of attraction fascinating). Full transparency, I’m all for an external glow-up—I think looking your best does make you feel more confident. But these things? These are what actually make you the whole package.

Smelling good is your superpower

If you smell good, you instantly become more attractive, more magnetic, and more captivating. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman—scent is powerful. It lingers, it creates memories, and it leaves an impression before you even say a word.

Let’s get one thing straight: smelling good isn’t just about spraying on perfume or cologne.

It’s everything underneath that creates that effortlessly fresh, clean scent. It’s eating well, staying hydrated, basic hygiene, moisturizing your skin, taking care of your hair, and wearing fresh clothes. It’s the layers of self-care and attention to detail that communicate self-respect and confidence—two of the most attractive traits ever.

And there’s no single "magic scent" that makes you instantly irresistible, but science has shown that most people are naturally drawn to warm and subtly sensual notes—think vanilla, musk, and sandalwood. But at the end of the day, it’s not about what science says; it’s about finding a fragrance that feels like you. Your signature scent should be an extension of your presence—something that people associate you with, remember you by, and subtly crave when you’re not around.

So, if you do one thing for your attractiveness, let it be this: smell incredible. It’s the easiest, most foolproof way to leave a lasting impression.

The underrated power of having hobbies

@tamfrancesconi @kaminav @gentlesleague

There’s something incredibly attractive about a person who has interests—real, tangible things they love doing just for themselves. Hobbies give you depth, independence, and an energy that’s uniquely yours.

There’s nothing more magnetic than someone who doesn’t just exist but actively engages with life.

It doesn’t matter if it’s mastering the art of French cooking (a little Julia Child moment), painting, training for a marathon, learning a new language, playing an instrument, or even something unexpectedly cool like collecting vintage watches. Having hobbies means you have a world of your own, something that fuels you outside of work and relationships. It makes you more than just your job, your looks, or your social life.

Not to mention, hobbies give you a sense of independence—and independence is attractive. Passion is attractive. Someone who lights up when talking about something they genuinely enjoy? So attractive. Plus, having your own interests naturally makes you more interesting to others. It gives you something to talk about and something that makes people curious about you.

So, if you don’t already have a hobby you love, find one. Experiment, try new things, lean into what excites you.

And in case you’re wondering—science backs this up. The competence bias suggests that we are naturally drawn to those who are skilled at something, as it signals intelligence, dedication, and capability.

Be an expert in something

You don’t need a degree or a fancy title to be an expert in something—you just need genuine curiosity and the ability to actually know what you’re talking about. And let me tell you, few things are more attractive than someone who can either teach me something new or hold a conversation where we’re both equally engaged, learning from each other.

It doesn’t even matter what the topic is. It could be wine, art, video editing, skincare, history, classic films—literally anything. What’s magnetic isn’t just the knowledge itself, but the passion behind it. The way someone lights up when they explain why a certain grape variety thrives in a particular climate. That level of curiosity and depth makes a person so much more interesting.

Find your thing. Deep-dive into a topic, own it, and be the person who always has something compelling to add to the conversation. Because nothing is more captivating than someone with real knowledge and the confidence to share it.

The "Pratfall Effect" suggests that people who display intelligence and expertise (without being arrogant) are seen as more attractive.

Pick your signature kitchen skill: Cook, Bake, or Shake

If you can whip up an amazing meal, bake something indulgent, or craft a cocktail that tastes straight out of a chic hotel bar—instant attraction. And if you can do all three? Well, that’s next-level. In reality, most people aren’t culinary triple threats, and that’s completely fine. The key? Master one and make it your thing.

Personally, I’m a baker. I leave the cooking to my husband, and we both dabble in classic cocktail-making. But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that having a go-to specialty is a superpower—especially when you start hosting or need to contribute to a dinner party. For me, it’s the quiet flex of setting down a homemade chocolate ganache tart, fresh scones, or a warm loaf of French bread and watching the room light up. There’s something so effortlessly impressive about it.

The same goes for making a standout meal or mixing a cocktail so good that people request it by name. It’s about creating a moment, leaving an impression, and adding a little bit of magic to everyday life.

Be the person known for the best homemade pasta, the cookies that disappear in minutes, or the cocktail that turns a casual night in into something truly special.

Food is deeply tied to emotional bonding. Studies have shown that cooking for someone releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), creating a sense of connection and warmth.

The art of being well-spoken

I love engaging with people who know how to speak. Who effortlessly engage in a conversation. There’s something so attractive about someone with a rich vocabulary, but not in a way that feels forced or performative. You don’t need to use over-the-top, flowery language just to sound impressive— nobody wants to feel like they need a dictionary just to keep up. That’s not intelligence—that’s insecurity (which is the opposite of attractive). True eloquence is about connection, not competition.

Express your thoughts clearly and avoid relying on filler words like “um” and “like” in every sentence. Avoid excessive swearing (you can still tastefully drop the f-word without sounding crude). Speak with purpose. Pause before speaking. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about conversation flow.

Being present & fully engaged

We live in a world where people are constantly distracted—scrolling through their phones mid-conversation, half-listening while thinking about what they’re going to say next. But when you meet someone who is fully present—who makes eye contact, listens deeply, and responds with intention—it’s unforgettable.

Being genuinely present is a rare kind of magic.

And just for fun — here are some scientifically-backed ways to enhance your attractiveness while listening:

• Slightly tilt your head to one side — it makes you seem more warm and attentive.

• Use the “triangle method”: shift your gaze subtly between their eyes and lips

• People are naturally drawn to those who mirror their body language in a subtle, non-obvious way (a psychological effect called the chameleon effect).

• Leaning in just a little (not too much) signals genuine interest.

• Instead of jumping in the moment they finish speaking, take a second before responding. This subtle pause shows that you’re truly absorbing what they’re saying rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.

Not taking life too seriously

Life isn’t meant to be all work and no play. There’s something so attractive about someone who doesn’t take everything too seriously—who knows how to be playful, spontaneous, and genuinely enjoy the moment. The ability to laugh at yourself, embrace the unexpected, and bring lightness to a situation isn’t just refreshing—it’s magnetic.

What I truly believe about attraction

Attraction, to me, has never been just about looking a certain way—it’s about being a certain way. The people I find the most captivating are the ones who own who they are and who make life feel interesting.

It’s in the little things—the way someone smells, the way they speak with confidence (but never arrogance), the way they listen like they actually care. It’s about being good at something, having passions, bringing a sense of ease and enjoyment to life. Attraction is about energy. And that kind of presence? You can’t fake it.

So if I had to sum it up, I’d say this: be someone who engages with life. Be interesting. Be playful. Be present. Find things you love and let them shape you.

Attraction isn’t something you chase—it’s something you naturally create when you focus on who you are rather than how you’re perceived.

Bisous,
Gabrielle